When you put others priority at first....

Hey guys... Thank you for still continuing to follow my story...

Today I'm gonna share another story that affect my whole life...

Beginning my journey as a nurse, I always told myself never ever take so much leave without any reason.... And what happen??? That's a stupid things I've been put in my principle of life
. Such stupid!!!!!!

So the second picture, that's my mummy and daddy.. it's a few months before something happened to my dad... The first picture is the last message from my dad before something's happened...

I'm a nurse who always put my job as priority.... I'm a nurse who always will to come to work, even all the manager not realize about thins along my services.... When they call me for oncall, I will to serve and come to work.. Why??? Is it because of money??? Yes of course.. would you go to work if you are not paid??? Tell me who is that person.. let them be the social worker.. even social worker also need to be pay.... So let's forget about this...

Beginning story about my parents... My parents is the survival and always teach us to be independent,to do all our job with passion .. my father and mother both also just like me, will to serve to the company... And my father is very hard-working... Even they are busy, I always keep in touch with them... And mcm besa la org tua Kan.. kalau Kita cuti ' jangan la cuti lama2 nanti kawan lain xdapat cuti'... Ya aku Ni memang baik sampai aku jarang cuti ..jarang balik kampung...ya la hidup jadi nurse Ni ko kasitau bila Masa org xmau berperang kalau mau cuti.. paling bikin panas kalau muka dia cuti segala cuti dia saja yang mau pulun... Dulu aku Tak la berkira sangat pasal Hal Ni.. tapi Makin lama aku Makin menyampah.. sebab aku selalu mengalah utk org...

Selama beberapa tahun berkhidmat ko boleh Kira brapa Hari aku ambil cuti .. Dan selepas post basik, aku berubah... Ya aku kadang datang lambat.. bukan lagi kadang, selalu... Sebab .Kena urus anak kena tu kena Ni.... Mcm aku sorang ja Ada anak Kan😂😂😂😂.   Da laki aku mcm mati akal punya perangai.. mau buat mcm Mana... Sekarang Ni baru la Ada berubah sikit....
Satu hari tu Masa tu 3 February 2018.... Aku kerja pagi.. lambat datang..kul 7.30 pagi aku sampai.. mcm company bapak aku Kan ... Lantak la ..apa kamu perfect la xpernah lambat????😂😂.... Ada call bertubi2 Dari mak aku ...Masa tu aku the otw g kerha..

Mum aku da Naik kapal Masa tu nak g kk sebab Ada funeral kakak ipar sebelah sepupu aku..... Dia cakap daddy aku Tak boleh bercakap,fikiran mcm Tak center.. Dan boleh cakap ya Dan tidak sahaja... Dalam otak aku cuma fikir Satu ja itu SIMPTOM STROK.... Aku suruh mak aku turun Dari kapal Dan catch back my daddy.... Suruh bawa ke kecemasan... The .aku pun sampai Kat tempat kerja... Alokasi Masa tu jaga pesakit post opcardiac tamponade, uncle Freddy yang anak dia pilot tu... Aku ingat lagi..

So aku terduduk seketika n cKap Kat semua orang yang Ada nama dalam post aku tu yg bapa aku sakit... Then dorang trus cakap ko kena balik lahad Datu, kau kena tengok bapa ko, aku dengan bodoh2 lagi mau take over patient... Then kak Diana cakap biar dia jaga pesakit n aku pulang.... Pas tu kak Ana cakap ko kena balik.. kau bukan Jenis orang yang malar cuti... Bapa ko tu, teda ganti, kalau apa2 jadi ko menyesal.... So aku pun balik la....

Yes exactly bila aku sampai ja lahad Datu ..Kat hospital, betapa luluhnya hatiku lihat half muka daddy suda droop, tangan jadi xboleh angkat, heart rate 175-180, fast AF.. BP 203/98mmhg...  Aku rasa sangat gagal sebagai seorang anak waktu tu.. aku rasa gagal sebagai seorang jururawat yang sibuk nak Bantu pesakit lain yang bukan keluarga aku, Dan bapa aku sendiri sakit aku Tak sempat tolong.. betapa sialnya diri ini aku rasa.....

Benda da jadi.. 3 Hari mak aku jaga bapa aku.. mak aku pun bukan orang sihat.. dia pun Ada darah tinggi,lemah jantung,kencing Manis, so start Hari ke 4 sampai Hari ke 22 aku jadi nurse 24/7 utk jaga bapa aku... Semua aku buat kecuali ambil vital sign, feeding turning,sponging,change linen smuanya aku buat.... Dan physio pun aku buat sendiri... Ya la harap physiotherapists datang bila baru start Kan.. better aku buat dlu... 

up

Gambar2 Ni semua status Facebook yang aku upload tiap Hari... Nangis hari2 bah.. sakit hati bila the my hero Dari kecil jadi begini.... 

Then bila specialist Kat Sana bawa discuss nak start warfarin, tapi daddy aku kena warded lama lg, aku minta second opinion, specialist tu baik sangat satu2 dia explain apajadi dengan daddy aku, pas tu dia bagi cadangan utk jumpa Dr.chris neuromedical specialist di kk... So Sana la bermula cahaya baru.... 

Daddy bertambah okay la.. namun Ada lagi kisah yang menyedihkan menimpa kami sekeluarga.. yang menyebabkan Saya jadi kuat utk keluar Dari kerjaya Saya sekarang..nanti Saya sambung di blog seterusnya ya..😊

Why I'm stay at this hell!!!!!!!

There's sometimes, you begin to questioning your life, why God planned to put me in the hectic fate....  Yes, sometimes I feel so regret, stressful, and I hate my workplace so much...😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

Beginning my journey as a nurse ,I feel this is the miserable career that I have chose...  Every single daydi feel that i put myself in problem...  My other side always whispering on me ' oh I've,pity of you because you be in the place that you are not supposed to be'😔😔😔 .. on the other side of me says ' believe in yourself ivy, you can going through this phase... You will be okay but not now'

Have you ever feel down, until each time you wanna prepare yourself to get ready to work, you feel like you don't want to go to...

That is what I feel when I first come to work... For every single person you have to deal to, for some person yang bila kau bercakap dia buat- buat tuli sampai ko rasa mau cakap pasal urusan kerja pun takut sebab kau new staff.....   I feel so so so depressed... Everytime I come back home, i took a long time to be in the bathroom, just to think about everything and just to come back to my sense..😔😔😔😔..

Oh My God... I cry when I writing this story.... Some don't like me just because I have double diploma..😅😅😅.. ya.. I have diploma in pharmacy.. but it just a paper.. I can't do anything on it.. it's not make me more than others.... Cuma Saya pernah belajar saja... Kalau Saya pintar tidak akan terjadi la ba Kan report medication error Vitamin C tu...😊😊😊... Tu tandanya Saya ni manusia biasa yg punya khilaf sama mcm org lain.. bukan malaikat, bukan org pintar mcm Albert einsten yang wujudkan formula E=MC2......

Lebih menyedihkan lagi bila org cakap dengan Saya yang Saya Ni tidak di terima di Mana Mana pun dalam department... Tidak di terima di ot, tidak di terima di wad, even klinik mahupun cicu... Dan Saya berada di cicu sebab belas kasihan seseorang yang ambil Saya letak situ , sebab semua tempat todak mau saya jadi staff dorang..😂😂😂😂😂..... At first.. i am so down.... So so down..... Pernah kamu rasa kaitu so down mcm Mana, yang mau masuk kubur pun masi lagi bernafas Pula... Jadi ko tidak Tau mau down pigi Mana lagi... Thanks God belum sampai tahap bunuh diri la.. kalau bunuh diri of course Saya jadi hantu suda..🤣🤣🤣🤣...

Bila bermulanya hidup di tempat alokasi sebenar, Saya datang kerja dengan hati yang kosong... 😔😔😔😔... Kosong berabis....  Tapi bila Saya renung balik, sampai bila Saya mau datang kerja dengan hati yang kosong, yang tidak mau tegur Saya,yang benci Saya beberapa ketul ja pun Masa tu, Ada ramai lagi staff lain yang masih boleh Saya bawa bercakap..... Ada ramai lagi yang sudi mengajar Saya even dorang cakap pasal Saya.. tapi at least mengajar... So, buat apa Saya mau peduli yang beberapa ketul tu...  Bukan bikin Naik atau turun gaji Saya pun....

Jadi Hari ke Hari Saya lalui ... There's no u turn... Masa tu mau berenti pun xguna... Dan Saya selalu kasitau diri Saya, people would not aim you if you is a Loser.... What for attacking a Loser' .. they don't like you because there's something in you that they don't have it....

Bermulanya Dari situ bermula la saya Cuba mewarnakan kembali segala kecomotan yang Saya hadapi dalam karier sebagai freshie nurse...😂😂😂😂😂....

Pengalaman jadi staff baru di Mana Mana tempat pun sama....  Dalam 10 org di wad kau, kebarangkalian untuk 1 orang ja okay dengan kau Dan 9 orang tu menyampah dengan kau Ada, Dan kebarangkalian untuk 9 org okay sama kau , Dan 1 orang benci sama kau, itu pun Ada... Kaki kipas???? Hmmmm.... Susah aku mau buat ni barang..  Susah sangat aku nak jadi fake...  Tapi banyak kebaikan kalau jadi kaki kipas...🤭🤭🤭.. hanya kaki kipas saja Tau... Dan yang bukan kaki kipas hanya mampu perhati ja..😂😂😂...

Aku crita Ni based on pengalaman aku... Kalau ko Tak buat benda tu Kat aku , ko Tak payah terasa...sebab memori aku boleh ingat Sapa ... Dan hanya aku saja Tau...

Okay la that's all for today... Thanks for reading...😊

I'm A Teaser Nurse....

Good Morning guys..... Thank you for viewing and reading my blog ... Today I'm gonna shared a story whereby I was accused by visitor/relatives of being  a seducer and was impatient to my patients....

The story begin when I st arted my duty and it was only 4 or 5 months since I started my duty as a nurse...it was 2013...

One day i've been assigned to take care of post coronary artery bypass(cabg) patient at bed 6....at that time I'm working with my senior Kak D, she taking care of patient at bed 6A. We are in the same cubicle. It was Pm shift (2pm - 9pm)

So, when comes to visiting hours, (4.30pm to 7pm).. this uncle relatives comes and go, his siblings,wife,daughter,son and many more people.. they comes and keep asking the same question, but I answer them... None of the question been dismissed...

After that, his youngest son come few times, following me at the side of bed, until the charting table... At first I try my best to explain what he don't understand... But suddenly he look at me deeply and put his elbow on my table..

Just like this...😔😔😔😔😕

That time I'm started to become uncomfortable because he started to flirt at me...🤦🤦🤦🤦🤷💆💆. . So I try to distract that kind of unprofessional conversation... However... He comes again to me... Talk to me at my back, with his hand both put on the chair that I sat on, and his head is just at the side of my head....😕😕😕.. once I turn, maybe unwanted kisses will happen ..

Macam begini la tu ar.tapi tangan dia dia letak d kerusi.. bukan di bahu Saya... Muka Saya bukan begitu ar yg senyum2..

Trus muka Saya berubah jadi mcmni.. tapi Saya tunduk sija.. sebab kalau Saya angkat muka n pusing.. nahhhhhhhhh.... Habis la..

After that he ask me all the instrument at the cardiac table, the kidney dish,the injection tray and everything.. I'm answering but I'm starting not comfortable... That relatives started to make some point of me.. apa buli buat la.. xkan Saya mau flirt dia balik Kan... Gila tu barang tau..... 

Pas tu habis la Masa melawat.. x suda Saya jumpa tu relative... 

Astaga.. siou ar mix Ni Bahasa Saya...

So at that night, my senior Kak Malin waiting for her sister at the lobi utama, incidently she sitting at the site of the group of my patient's relatives.. that youngest son of uncle talk that I am very rude nurse... 😂😂😂.. dia cakap nurse putih2 kicil2( om bah dlu Kan Sa 41kg sija🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🤫🤫🤫🤭🤭) tidak layan bapa dia dengan bagus, 😂😂.. dia cakap Saya tidak mau jawab soalan dia.dan dia bilang dia mau tampar Saya..😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 there's so much more he told his family sampai Satu family dia percaya...

So on the next morning, while kak Malin nKak D taking their breakfast, kak malin told that story to Kak D....🤭🤭... Luckily Kak D is the one of living witness who saw that incident and told kak Malin ' ehh Malin bukan begitu cerita dia.. begini ba tu.......' so dorang berbual panjang la Kan...  Then kak Malin understand that relatives buat2 crita...

Then kak d n kak Malin told me that incident yang anak uncle tu mau tampar Saya... Punya main sakit hatiku ba.....😂😂.. ya aku nurse tapi aku pun manusia juga.. Ada perasaan....  Then I meet that uncle and his wife... I ask them whether I'm being impatient while taking care of him last night... Then his wife and uncle said ' ehhh okay ba ko jaga.. bagus ba'... Then I ask them ' tapi uncle, anak uncle crita sama relative uncle d lobi yang Saya tidak jaga uncle dengan baik,Dan dia mau tampar saya' ..uncle then answer ' astaghfirullahalazim... Dia itu mimang tu nurse... Lain2 tu Gaya dia... Kenapa la dia crita begitu... Minta maaf la nurse.. Saya Pula yang malu' ... I replied him ' siou uncle.. Saya Tanya sama uncle n aunty utk kepastian betul2 ka Saya kurang ajar sama uncle time Saya jaga uncle.. sebab lain juga kalau kawan Saya yang dgr ba tu anak uncle p cakap pasal Saya.. Saya tidak kisah juga kalau dia mau tampar Saya ka, mau hempas kepala Saya pakai kidney dish ka.. kalau btul Saya salah, Saya trima sija tu dia lempar.. tapi Ni tidak' ..  trus uncle bilang ' jangan ko risau nanti pacik ma macik brainwashed dia tu'... But I didn't tell uncle that his son try to flirt and almost hug me from the back,nanti pening uncle...

Lepas Dari kejadian tu... Anak dia tu' masuk sekijap ja trus keluar.... Malu Kali ar ... Dia nampak Saya pun laju2 dia jalan keluar..😂😂.. but whatever it is. Thanks God that uncle discharge out ... It's the best things... 

That's my story for today ...begitula Kita Ni sebagai nurse, mcm2 org Kita jumpa.. Ni baru Satu Jenis yang Saya crita... Ada banyak lagi Jenis manusia ..... Jadi tetap semangat utk trus baca crita2 Saya ya.. 

My journey as Registered nurse

Hey guys.... Meet again in my blog. So today I'm gonna continue my story about my journey as a registered nurse in government..

So on 22 October 2012, I reported my duty at Jabatan Kesihatan Negeri Sabah, we waiting for our posting area... Many of my friend on my batch be alocated at Sabah and Sarawak..😊😊😊... Except who alraalr married.. they got alocated at semenanjung Malaysia... Including my Bff Sha and Dina... We all alocated at Sabah..😂😂.. bujangan Kan ... Kana buang saja la di mana2..

Then after getting the letter, my posting location was Hospital Queen Elizabeth 2, Sha got Hospital wanita Dan kanak kanak Likas, Dina got to go to Hospital Queen Elizabeth 1... After that we separated... Need to move alone..😂😂..

So I go to Hqe2 reported my duty... With others new staff from various college... We have orientation for 1 week if I'm not wrong, then we alocated to the exact place that we supposed to be....

You know what, I wish to be in ETD.... Where the place have giving report about Me because posting something in my Facebook few years ago..😂😂😂.... Later will story bout this....  However, when Sn Annie( from nursing unit) call my name, she told me,I got CICU( Cardiothoracic Intensive Unit)..

I have no idea about this place...I don't know what gonna be in this ward... I go to that ward with another friend.. 12 of us I think... So we all separatered, 3 person go to Cardiac Ot, 6 go to CICU it's including me and the rest go to ward....

The first person who give us warm welcoming is Perl@Cham sieu cuen..😁😁😁.. yes I remember it very well.. then she introduced us to the ward manager Sister Rukina....

Then Perl also give us simple orientation where to take scrub attire, where to put bag, after that someone continue that orientation.. if I not wrong it's kak Dalink@dina and kak Ash... ..

After that, we all have rotated every 2 weeks to ot,clinic,ward and come back to the exact alocated place...

Things are not easy in this department.. we have ECG test interpretation, drug calculation, anatomy and physiology of heart and lungs test... 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔.. it's tough time for me.. because not all people giving a good welcome...

I remember well some of the senior don't talk to me.. show their 😕😕😕😕😕😕😤😤😤🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐  face on me... Ya.. maybe it's my feeling... But people will not be like that if not influence by others...  I'm sorry for senior if you read this.. if it's not you Tak payah terasa... Because I remember that person...  Saya anggap sija tu orientation utk Saya... Bukan seminggu,bukan sebulan,bukan 3 bulan bukan 6 bulan.. 🤫🤫🤭🤭🤭🤭....

But alhamdullilah I'm going through it... With flying colors I think..🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣....

Yeah.. I'm not a good nurse... I have lot of complaint,tatatertib pun Saya pernah kena, apa lagi Saya xpernah kena, Saya pernah kena aim... Semua pernah...  Sampai Saya hampir patah semangat.. tapi Saya tetap karaja juga ... Saya arung saja....  Sebab Saya Blum pernah lagi Ada rekod membunuh pesakit..🤣🤣🤣...ya Saya pernah kena tatatertib pasal medication error .. sebab patient alergik vitamin C.. Dan vitamin C Ada dalam piring tu patient.. tapi apa Saya boleh buat.. Saya cakap tu ubat utk Saya pun xguna juga..sebab suda dalam piring pesakit...  Doktor kami buat report pasal Saya buat medication error..😊😊😊...

Things happen.. Surat tatatertib pun sampai sama Saya.. walau Saya buat Surat penjelasan tetap juga Saya dapat Surat Kan.. Saya terima dengan redha ..anggap itu sebagai pengajaran sija la...

Hmm... Banyak lagi crita Ni... Jap lagi Saya continue ar...

For all the new nurse yang bakal masuk kerja, semoga kamu semua boleh jadi nurse yang mampu menjaga pesakit dgn baik, mulut jahat xpa yang penting utk kebaikan pesakit.. kamu xtau betapa garangnya Saya sepanjang Saya jadi nurse...  Bila Saya cakap Saya xmau pesakit Saya tu berjalan sebab drg Ada unstable angina.. tidak la tum. Saya mimang garang... Dan Saya akan cakap terang sama pesakit kalau benda tu bahaya..   report?? Ya Ada yg report ba Saya ... Tapi nasib matron yg handle baik... Matron incharge kami sangat memahami.. it's a bonus...  Selidik punya selidik not my fault...  But not all people will to back up ... That time you will have to redha again😂😂😂..

Okay guys.. I will continue later

Move out from comfort zone

Hey guys, so this is the first time I'm creating my blog. After suggested from my friends.

Many people wanted to know how I jump through the decision to resign from ministry of health Malaysia, whereby this is the beloved company that I've been loyal to for almost 6++ years...😊😊😊

So let's the story begin here, I'm gonna start my story from the day I get my spm(Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia) results...

After I passed my spm exam, I supposed to continue my study to form 6.. however, there's some advertisement about Masterskill College of Allied health and science now known as Asian Metropolitan University if I not mistaken...

So my friends and I went to that roadshow and appeal our spm result. After screening the result my friend were suggested to take medical imaging diploma, and I sugesugge to take diploma in pharmacy ,which I never expect to take. And I fight with the admin to go into nursing but they said my result shows that I'm compatible to be in pharmacy course...

Then I have nothing to do rather than fight ImI going through that 3 years patiently... Within that 3 years that time I try to apply for SPA8( Where people want to be in government ) I go for Interview 2 times..
First time I'm not passed .. and that interview was at my hometown... Lahad Datu.....

Second time I passed that interview where I go for it at Kolej penyelidikan perubatan Kuala lumpur... Alhamdullilah...

After the sweet 3 years I spending my time to get my diploma in nursing, I entering to the journey as Registered staffnurse at Hospital Queen Elizabeth II... Kota Kinabalu and was alocated at Cardiothoracic Intensive Care Unit .. this is my first and last post in KKM..🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

Entering to this journey there's lot f bitter and sweet....  Want to know more??😊😊 Later I will continue my story.. thank you guys for reading my blog..